The Mask
by Halibel Lecter
Summary: No, not the one from the movies that causes mass chaos and destruction. Not that one. ...But it's darned close.


"Yuffie?" Aeris sat up and rubbed her eyes. "Is that you?" Inside the bathroom, Yuffie bit her lip.

"Uh…yeah. Yup, it's me alright. Yuffie Kisaragi. In the bathroom. Uh, yeah…"

"Oh. Are you okay?" Aeris swung her legs down and padded across the hall from her room to the bathroom door. "I, uh, heard water running and I'd sure hate for you to be sick the night before all those people showed up for that reunion…are you sick, Yuffie?"

"No! I mean…er…uh…" Yuffie had never had a problem with Aeris before. A bit girly but then, Yuffie was a ninja so her standards would be a bit warped. Currently, however, said ninja was perched on the toilet reading ghost stories with her face covered in "Cleansing Mint Julep Flavored Clay Mask".

Yes, we said mask. Not the plastic kind, either. The kind afore-mentioned girly-girl Aeris used when she wanted to look pretty. The kind that a young, un-girly ninja with way too much time on her hands and a case of nervous insomnia might just smear on her face at 2:00 a.m. in an attempt to occupy herself—and possibly get rid of the residual grime that had seemed to be particularly hard to get off lately.

Not that she cared; the mask had originally been in order to look halfway presentable for the Wutai Heritage Reunion tomorrow. Oh, how she hated that reunion. Body and mind, heart and soul, she wished she didn't have to attend that horrendously boring, completely useless—but she wasn't getting anywhere.

"Yuffie? Hey, why are you up, anyway? Are you sure you aren't sick?" Aeris leaned toward the locked door. "You were training all day—you should be asleep. Did you have a nightmare or something?"

Aeris normally wasn't such a gal-pal sort of person. Maybe it was the fact that she was almost as tired as Yuffie was—since Hollow Bastion had been rid of its darkness recently the people still there had decided to come for a reunion, and Aeris had been cleaning like a madwoman. She'd perfected her lemonade recipe, too.

"Oh yes!" Yuffie replied. "A…uh…a nightmare, a horrible nightmare. That's…yeah. Horrible."

"You should tell me all about it, then." Aeris was clearly not going away, and the mask was clearly not coming off until it was dry. Man, that stuff was like super-glue! Yuffie had the damp washcloth stuck to her chin as proof. That wasn't coming off either.

"Telling me about your dream will help you conquer it. So what was it about?"

In fact, that was the reason Aeris was awake. She'd had that awful dream where she was just walking along, minding her own business, and suddenly the pavement crumbled away, revealing a raging flood of sewer water…

Aeris had woken up just as the asphalt had disintegrated beneath her feet to hear water running, which had been kind of terrible at first for obvious reasons. Now, though, she sat down outside the door, content to listen to her friend talk. Vincent and Cid were both gone for the evening, on their way back by now with the group of people who, hearing the group was close by, had decided to check on one of their "lost lambs", as the letter had stated.

While at first it seemed strange to her that those two were the ones who had to travel to Wutai and back instead of the actual local, said local had been hiding under the couch ever since the letter had been delivered, and refused to come out until both men had left without her. Aeris had been working all day to get their rented rooms spotless, down to all the junk Vincent threw under his bed.

To her horror, there were actually a couple of poor, garbage-eating monsters trapped down there, which had nearly given her a heart attack. There she was kneeling halfway under the bed, sifting through apple cores and dust-covered shell casings and several unidentifiable things covered in pink mold—gross!—when she saw those distinctly glowing eyes peering at her. At least three pairs. Aeris had bumped her head and propelled herself out from under the bed just in time, for she'd barely had time to grab her broom before they darted out at her.

Yuffie, hearing the racket, had come up to check on Aeris only to find that she'd narrowed it down to one slightly-dusty creature about the size of a breadbox, this being frantically attacked with a broom. The poor thing was so emaciated from being trapped down there with only Vincent's leftovers to eat, she'd barely even had to aim. She could have sworn that the poor wretch had leaped eagerly at the flashing anken that she'd thrown. Aeris, meanwhile, had returned to cleaning petrified crud out from under the bed, every so often cursing Vincent under her breath.

Yes, thought Aeris, this had been a hectic day. She had decided to take a long shower, the strongest strength potion she could lay her hands on, and go straight to bed after she finished cleaning. In fact both girls had turned in early. Maybe that, Aeris reflected, was why they were both awake now. She realized her companion had fallen silent, and this was beginning to creep her out. With a grimace, Aeris realized that she'd neglected Vincent's closet. "What about your dream?" she prompted.

"My what? Oh, yeah. It was terrible. Really." Behind the locked door, Yuffie was starting to get a little more confidence as she concentrated on a good excuse for being up at this hour. "Cloud was in it, and Vincent. And they were both being chased by…uh…" running out of ideas, Yuffie grabbed her book and flipped it open to a new story. "Zombies. Horrible gangly zombies, who all wanted their toes back."

"Vincent and Cloud had their toes? Yuck."

"Yeah, I mean, weird, huh? But they were poor, so they were going to make them into stew."

"Dead toe stew?!" Aeris giggled. "Yuffie, maybe you shouldn't train unsupervised. Sure you didn't hit your head?" She felt a lot better now. Dead toe stew! What a thought!

"Yeah, and, the zombies did all sorts of stuff to them. To make them give back the toes, I mean. Like, they hired Cid to cast a spell that turned their hair pink, and then when they drew their swords they turned pink too. It was so weird—"

"You got that right."

"—Because the pink stuff was all sparkly and they kept saying, "This smells like broccoli soup. Why do we smell like broccoli soup?" Aeris started laughing.

"I swear, that is the weirdest dream I've ever heard of!"

"Yeah! Weird, huh?" Thank goodness, the situation was back under her control!

Suddenly the door rattled. Both girls heard a familiar voice say "See you guys tomorrow! The inn's that way. No, over there. _That's_ it. Goodnight!"

Aeris raced for the stairs.

"Vincent! Cid! You're home early!"

Just _peachy_.

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"Oh, this is great. You're early!" Aeris chirped happily. "I'll make nachos, okay? You two must be hungry!" She busied herself setting up nachos a la Midgar: A huge platter of store-bought tortilla chips smothered in enough shredded cheddar cheese to give half the free-speaking world massive heart attacks. She laced it with three layers of taco seasoning and put the whole thing in the oven, chattering all the while to Vincent and Cid.

"We didn't have any problems today. Don't worry Cid, I set out food for the stray cats—"

"Good. I thought you'd forget."

"Nope! And Vincent…you should be proud of Yuffie. She was practicing the whole time I was cleaning out the house. Did you know you had monsters living under your bed? They were trapped under there eating your old moldy leftovers. She helped me kill the last one, but I took care of the other two with my broom. By the way, I didn't check your closet, so be on your guard."

"What? Under my bed?" Vincent lifted his head from the cracked plastic counter. "Are you sure, Aeris?"

"Oh, yes. Nearly gave me a coronary. There I was under the bed, and I see these little glowing eyes. Just awful. It gave us both bad dreams. That's why I'm up. Yuffie was just telling me about hers—you were in it—and your hair was pink! All because you were poor, so you took a bunch of dead people's—"

"You said Yuffie was awake?" Vincent glanced at her, raising one an eyebrow. He and Yuffie were really close; they'd practically considered each other siblings since joining this party. Annoying, incessantly irritating siblings, but still... Normally she would be down there, too, munching cold tortilla chips with taco seasoning and asking about their trip—or, at the very least, the scenery thereof. "Where is she?"

"Oh, Yuffie? The poor dear. She was so scared, she'd been holed up in the bathroom over her dream. I really don't see why but I suppose it was scary to her because—Vincent? Where are you going?"

"To check on Yuffie. She said my hair was _what?!_"

"Pink. And Cloud's, too. See, you stole—" But he was gone.

"Go on," queried Cid, attacking the nachos. "What did he steal?"

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Back in the bathroom, Yuffie was starting to get scared. Not of the toe-avenging zombies, either. She knew that Vincent would come barreling up the stairs any minute—possibly with a few of her cousins in tow—and demand that she come out and say hi, since he had to do Gaea-knows-what to get said cousin over here. The fact that Aeris was seemingly chattering about their dreams didn't help at all. It probably wouldn't even buy much time.

Yuffie gave the damp washcloth a hard yank. The only results were a few involuntary tears and a stream of curses, punctuated by the sound of someone clamping a hand over their own mouth while continuing to curse in ways that would have embarrassed Barret himself. That mask was _not_ coming off. She checked the package.

_Shin-ra Chemical Company presents "Cleansing Mint Julep Mask" with Smartmask™ Technology!_

This sounded promising… not…

_Cleansing Mint Julep Mask is equipped with Smartmask™ Technology, meaning that it knows when to stop cleaning! No more worries about how long to leave your mask on! Smartmask™ does the work for you by remaining completely unremovable until it has finished cleansing your skin. For heavy-grime vocations such as materia thieves and/or ninjas, the mask will go into its exclusive Mint Militia™ Mode, sticking tight to make sure every pore is cleaned!_

Oh, _perfect_. The only person who could get this stuff off, then, was girly-girl Aeris. Yuffie might have humbled herself and asked Aeris for help, but now that the guys were back that was out the window. Completely out the window.

The door rattled. "Yuffie?"

She recognized Vincent's voice. "Uh, what?"

"Well…why don't you come out of that bathroom?" He paused, feeling for some reason as if he weren't wanted. "Aeris made nachos."

"Well, that's great but, um…you see…"

"Look, I know you had a bad dream. But it's not like you're some sissy or anything, right? You can just forget it, come downstairs, and maybe we could go see your cousins. They're dying to see you, Yuffie."

And how ironic. Yuffie was just _dying_, period.

"Um, well Vincent, uh, I hate to tell you this but I…I uh…" She fumbled. Her ghost story book couldn't help her now. "I was lying about the dream and what really happened was I, erm, breathed in some mold spores from your room."

"Mold?"

"Oh, yes! Terrible…um…HP-dissolving mold! And it's contagious! Must be some weird… uh… by-product of Shin-Ra. So I think I'll just stay in here and maybe next week you can—" She could tell that Vincent didn't believe her. And the mask was still stuck.

"Yuffie, open the door." Vincent was exasperated.

"Mold! Serious mold!"

"Yuffie. DOOR."

"Vincent. MOLD."

"Door!"

"Mold!"

"Door!"

"Mold!"

"Kisaragi Yuffie! I command you, as your sole and official elder, to open up the darn door!!"

Yuffie grimaced. "Okay. Fine." Slowly an idea dawned. "But don't say I didn't warn you, _Sensei._ The mold has taken over my face, and I have this strange growth on my chin…"

"Yeah, right." said Vincent.

Yuffie unlocked the door and slowly, carefully pulled it open. "I warned you."

At the sight of her green face and—oh good grief, what _was_ that thing on her chin?—Vincent staggered backward.

"I've got the mold, you see." Yuffie fixed her eyes on him and stepped forward.

"Yeah. I see. I see." Vincent, as she stepped forward, took two steps back. He stumbled over something on the floor and fell flat on his back. "I see. You can, uh, go back now I guess. Um…" Good lord, she was giving him unpleasant flashbacks… he could swear he'd seen Hojo carrying around a test tube of that stuff on her face at some point…

"No, Vincent." As he scrambled into a sitting position Yuffie sat down beside him and leaned her head on his shoulder. "You're like my brother…my closest friend…and this mold is killing me. I'm dying, and fast. I think I'd like to die on your shoulder. Goodbye, Vincent. Tell my cousin Murray that I always loved him—" Her eyes closed with a dramatic sigh. Vincent's eyes closed, too—he slumped down onto the floor, out cold.

Yuffie got up and pulled the door closed. "He's gonna kill me," she muttered. "Good thing I still have that embarrassing photo of him from the Christmas party…"

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"Aeris?" Yuffie's voice floated from the hall "Could you come over here for a second?"

"Sure." When she saw the other girl's face, Aeris had to bite her lip so hard it left a mark. She finally found a pillow to smother the sound with and laughed until she couldn't breathe. "You used my mask? You really—oh, man, Yuffie. That's hilarious. What did Vincent say?"

"If I tell you," She replied, "You'll have an even worse fit. So get this off first."

"Okay." Aeris grabbed some stuff from her counter and locked them into the guys' bathroom. You do what you have to. "Now, first we need copious amounts of hot water." She half-filled the tub. "How long can you hold your breath?'

"Are you nuts?"

Aeris looked over at her and raised an eyebrow. "I should be asking you that, shouldn't I?"

"Uh… no?"

Aeris laughed. "Okay, never mind." she paused. "…That uniform **is **waterproof, right?"

(Sigh.) "Yeah. It is."

"Why did you go to sleep in your kunoichi gear, anyhow?"

"I didn't go to sleep."

Twenty minutes later both girls emerged, clean and soaking wet. Owing to the fact that a certain semi-vampiric lifeform was still passed out in the hall in front of her room, Yuffie borrowed some of Aeris's pajamas—they were too long, of course—and, leaving the girl to her second laughing fit, started to go put her own stuff in the laundry when, crossing the kitchen, she was accosted by Cid.

"Miss Kisaragi? I need to ask you a question about Vincent. It seems that he's holed up in yours and Aeris's bathroom, convinced that you are dead and that he—" damn, the tongue in cheek act was getting hard to uphold—"Has contracted a dangerous strain of mold. Would you please go talk to him?"

"Uh, sure." Yuffie dumped her wet clothes into the nearest hamper and started back up the stairs to find the bathroom door ajar. "Vincent? There wasn't any mold. It's really a funny story, see—YIPE!!"

Vincent grabbed the back of the pajamas Yuffie had borrowed and lifted her into the air so that she was level with his eyes.

"Next time you wanna go all girly on us," he smirked, "Have a care not to be so obvious, hmm?" Grinning, Vincent held up the tube of mask with his free hand. "Now then, shall we go pay a visit to your cousin Murray? I'm sure he'd love to hear what you said."

"I don't have a cousin Murray."

"Oh well. There's got to be a Murray in this town somewhere."

"Wait! No! VINCENT! PUT ME DOWN!"

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THANK YOU!! ---Any reviews will be forwarded along to Rayna Lissesul, since without her, anything involving some of the characters interacting would have been.... uh, well, crappy, since I didn't know certain people at first. In fact, she has an FF story that you should probably go read. Go on, read it! Thanks, sensei! By the way: Stark, naked........

NOTES: Final Fantasy belongs to SquareEnix and them alone. I made no money from this fic.

You may notice that this is also posted on Mediaminer, written terribly and under the Kingdom Hearts section. Back in the day, I had an account on there. So before you say it's plagiarism, it isn't. It's just a rewrite, don't freak out.

Please, please, please tell me if there's anything wrong with this! What I know of FF, I know from an online Wiki and the fanfiction I read, plus a lot of help from a friend of mine. So, any help is appreciated! Was everyone IC? Do I have the dialogue right? Please review if something is wrong; even flames are welcome.


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